I've held off on mentioning this for a few weeks because I didn't know how it would pan out, but NBC Universal owned website ivillage.com asked me to write an article on things to do for your Stay-At-Home Dad this Father's Day.
As you all know, I was a stay-at-home dad for about a year and then a Daytime Daddy for another four. You'll notice they edited my words to make me a Stay-At-Home Dad for five years. I wrote them to let them know of the difference. But they left it the way it is.
Anyway, here is a link to the article. As of Thursday afternoon it was part of the homepage lead. Not sure how long that will last, so I am giving you the direct link.
So my sister emailed Mama Bear and I recently on behalf of one of her friends who is going to be having twins. Since we lived the chaos of twins, her friend wanted to pick our collective brains about what to expect, what was needed and all that fun stuff. So, here was my response (some names were changed to protect the innocent). Let me know if it was too much. My sister thinks it was over the top. But I can tell you it's all the truth.
The first 2 -2 1/2 years are absolute hell. I'm not just saying that to scare you -- I mean it!!!
Think about what it's like to have have one baby and now times that by two. It starts with lack of sleep, piles and piles of dirty diapers, endless amounts of bottles, creative ways to feed two babies at once (utilize the boppy), and countless trips to the doctors office (who, by the way, if he was ever on time it would be a sign of the apocalypse).
And that's the easy part!
Just when that ends, they turn into toddlers!!! Avoid this at all costs!!! Once they learn to walk, your days of leaving the house are over. Avoid teaching them to walk until they are at least 30.
One goes up the aisles, the other goes down the aisles. You now have to decide who you are going to grab first. Some argue this is life's first lesson in teaching them who you love more. Usually it's the one nearest to the sharper items (at least it was in my case). But once you get him, don't just put in him the stroller, DUCT TAPE HIM TO THE SEAT!!! Trust me when I say he will find a way out when you turn to get the other child.
Then, this one touches this, that one touches that. "No" become the word you say the most. There was one point when someone asked me if we were Japanese, because I was in the store saying "Junior No! Peanut No!" the person thought our last name was "No."
When you leave the store, you learn that your children just broke their first law and you became an accomplice to a crime, as they have that cute little toy you walked passed hidden in their stroller. You know, the toy you said he couldn't have, took from him and put back on the shelf. Well, somehow he got it back. How? I still don't know, but he did.
When you get home and want to relax, you plop in a movie. You shut your eyes for just a minute only to open them to the toy hammer being slammed on your head.
Before you know it, you're in your own house looking for your son. You go upstairs, downstairs, in the bathroom, in your room, check under beds, behind couches and then you happen to look out the window and notice he's half way up the block walking to the playground. You go to get him and when you get inside, the other one has the phone in her hand. You grab it from her and hang it up. As you are in the middle of screaming at them, the police show up at your front door. Apparently she called 911 by accident when you ran outside.
After you convince the nice officer you are a sane individual, the day is over and as you lay in bed you realize you have to do it all again tomorrow.
Only one thought got me through this. I knew one day they would have to change my diapers -- and that is going to be my ultimate revenge.
Papa Bear wrote a Father's Day article for ivillage.com. Check it out
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About This Blog
I primarily share my past and present experiences in fatherhood that I think you’ll find entertaining. From family to fantasy (sports that is), I plan to touch on it. There probably isn’t going to be any life lesson to learn and I don’t plan to analyze why things happen. I simply plan to allow you to share in the enjoyment (or laugh at the misery) that is my life. –Enjoy!
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Not sure exactly what I'm doing, but the PBM is now on Facebook and Twitter. Friend me at PapaBear Memoirs on Facebook and Tweet me. If you still live in the Stone Age, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and get weekly emails.
I'm a 30-something married father of three living in suburban Philadelphia and have been thinking of starting a blog on the craziness that is fatherhood for a few years now.
See, I was the stereotypical male who played sports through college, worked in the sports field most of my professional career and planned many of my outings around my favorite teams' games. I was the guy who fell asleep during birthing class -- honestly I was.
But back in 2003, exactly two weeks and one day after I became Papa Bear and my wife became Mama Bear (in case you are lost, that's when my wife gave birth to a set of boy-girl twins), I was laid off from work and a wrench was thrown in our lives.
So we abruptly changed our plans and I stayed home with the kids for the next four years, a period which saw us add one more to the family.
Mama Bear is a teacher and since we couldn’t afford to give up her awesome benefits, the first six months or so after the twins, I was a full-time stay-at-home dad. Then, I began working mostly nights in order to save on childcare bills and create an income, but remained the "Daytime Daddy," changing what felt like hundreds of diapers per day and coming up with creative ways to feed two babies simultaneously at 3 am. Of course the summers were different, as Mama Bear was home from school, but it was hectic nonetheless.
It was during this period that I seriously considered a blog to share my mostly insane stories as a clueless first-time father. But for a number of reasons -- lack of sleep probably being No. 1 -- I didn’t go through with the blog.
Now that the kids are older and I have once again rejoined the daily rat race, I have decided to turn my attention to sharing my experiences best I can remember.
Pronunciation [fah-th er-hoo d] 1. the state of being a father. 2. fathers collectively. 3. the qualities or spirit of a father.
The Bear's Den
Papa Bear Mama Bear Brother Bear (aka Junior Bear) Big Sissy Bear (aka Peanut Bear) Little Sissy Bear (aka Cookie Bear)