A Slight Misunderstanding

When Junior Bear and Peanut Bear were just over 2-years-old, I was in need of finding more and more creative ways to keep them in one spot when changing their diapers or pull-ups. As many of you know, it can be extremely difficult to keep them from getting up and running away, especially when you have to make the transition from the dirty diaper to the clean one. That’s nothing new or unique to my situation.

So what I did was to start playing with their belly-button. I would press on their belly-button and say, “ding-dong.” We’ve all done it; we pretend that the belly-button is a doorbell.

I would say, “Ding-Dong! Ding-Dong!”, and press on the stomach, making them laugh.

It was simple yet brilliant for this simpleton father. I would have to do this like four or five times before starting to change their diaper as they laid on the floor and a couple other times after I took the dirty diaper off. They would have fun during this and, as a result, would stay put as I transferred to the clean diaper.

I was so impressed with myself. I came up with a solution to a problem without turning to Mama Bear. See, I usually turn to Mama Bear as she is a teacher (a very good one might I add) and she often has the answers for me when dealing with the kids. Whether it’s coming up with the punishment that fits the crime to dealing with temper tantrums to sounding out words (for me not the kids), I would be lost without her.

Anyway, again, I was pretty happy that I came up with this solution and a sense of pride came over me. I felt that I was finally learning something after two years on Daytime Daddy duty – until my parents came over one Saturday that is.

My parents came down from North Jersey for the day. I can’t really remember what we did, but I vividly remember what happened shortly after dinner that night.

We had just got up from the table and getting ready for dessert when the twins needed to get their diapers changed. I left that chore up to Gamma Bear, as there’s no need for me and Mama Bear to have all the fun all the time. So, Gamma Bear was having the same problem I was having, she couldn’t keep the kids down and before we knew it, both kids were running around naked.

Needless to say, I was enjoying this. It’s fun to watch Gamma struggle and it soon reached all new heights as it was at this point one of the funniest things that I can ever remember them saying came out.

The twins ran to the steps and Junior Bear shouted to the family, “Daddy touches my ding-dong when he changes my diaper!”

Peanut Bear quickly echoed her brother’s words and I broke into hysterical laughter knowing what they meant. However, not everyone in the room got the joke.

“What?!” yelled Gamma Bear as her jaw hit the floor.

Pop Church (my dad) nearly choked on his coffee and gave me a look I had never seen.

To prove that I shouldn’t get arrested, I asked the kids to point to their “ding-dong.”

They both pointed to their belly-button at the same time and we all shared a good laugh, but it was at that point I had to stop pressing their “ding-dong” when changing their diapers.

I’m glad it came out then and not at the preschool. I probably would have been asking the twins to point to their “ding-dong” from behind bars if that happened.