A Cut Below

It can be very tiring with newborns. I don’t think I’m breaking any news when I tell you that. But imagine being in my shoes when Mama Bear pushes out a set of twins for our first children. Double freakin’ exhausting is putting it kindly.

It was shortly after my wife went back to work following her maternity leave. Junior Bear and Peanut Bear were probably only a few months old. I was playing stay-at-home Dad at that point (remember I was laid off just a few weeks after Mama Bear gave birth) and would also get up in the middle of the night for one of their two feedings (I usually took the 3 or 4 am feeding since Mama Bear was going to get up in a few hours to start her day).

This lack of sleep can really wreak havoc on a person, and I was no exception. We were feeding every three hours, the kids weren’t really sleeping through the night and there didn’t seem to be an end in sight. I barely got out of the house and when I did I was hauling two baby carriers with me all over the place. It was really a trying time.

One day I was able to shake the kids and I went to the Hair Cuttery for a trim. If memory serves me right, it was a Saturday and Mama Bear stayed back with the kids.
I’m not going to lie when I say it’s nice to get out of the house by yourself every once in a while when you’re the primary daytime caregiver. It kind of gives you a chance to catch your breath.

Anyway, you know how this type of hair cut place works; you give your name and then wait for a stylist to come call your name. It’s kind of like the lottery in that you know who gives the good hair cuts at the place and who doesn’t just by looking at them and you are hoping and praying you don’t get called by someone who is going to butcher you.

So, I give my name and wait, hoping I don’t get the person who is going to screw up my hair. As I am sitting there, I am starting to fall asleep as I was exhausted. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I was trying everything I could to stay awake, going as far as looking through the only magazine left, Oprah (or some magazine that is not supposed to be read by any self-respecting male).

Anyway, I finally get called up and the woman who was cutting my hair was someone I had gotten before. She did a good job the prior times, so I was glad to get her.

I slowly get up from my seat in the waiting area and work my way back to the chair. I plop down and she asks me if I would you like a wash first. I say sure and she takes me back to wash my hair.
Now, as you know this can be completely relaxing. I think at one point my leg jerked as I began to fall asleep. I quickly woke up and pretended like it never happened.

After she was finished I went back to the chair and immediately fell into a trance. See, I’m not -- let me repeat NOT -- the kind of guy who likes to chit-chat when getting my hair cut. I want the person who is cutting my hair to concentrate on the task at hand. There is no need to distract him or her. One slip up and all of a sudden I’m looking like Telly Savalas. So, once I sat down I almost immediately shut myself off.

As I’m sitting there I hear her say to me, “You remind me of Gary.”

So thinking I missed part of the conversation, I give a little giggle to play it off like I knew what she was talking about I reply, “Okay.”

She gives me somewhat of a dirty look, but I’m too tired to even care what she’s thinking.

Fast forward a few minutes and I’m at the register paying. She hands me the receipt and at the bottom it reads her name and it’s at this point I realized what she said to me earlier. She didn’t say, “You remind me of Gary.” She said, “My name is Mary.”

I was so tired I responded to someone introducing themselves to me with “Okay.”

I said Okay! I might as well have said to her, I don’t care who you are.

I couldn’t believe it. I was too embarrassed to say anything to her at this point. So I just paid, left her a tip, bolted out of there and never went back.

I began going to a different Hair Cuttery after that, but I do remember seeing her at the super market a week or so later and I again got a dirty look.


Jennifer Fink said...

I can relate! Isn't it funny how we just avoid that hair cutting place then? I've done that more times than I care to admit...


babynunu said...

I feel particularly guilty when I start to fall asleep mid fairy tale to my boys and find that I have drifted away from Hansel and Gretel and started rattling off my to do list. "So Gretel said to the witch 'I will never fit in that oven. Must wash the dishes when I go downstairs... buy eggs tomorrow...." Great story!
Love that knee jerk though. The parental self defense mechanism to wake you up at the last second

~~tonya~~ said...

Cute story. That post-baby exhaustion is terrible. I think it can be harder on dads because they usually are still working full-time. Congrats on your babies!

Kathryn said...

Here from the party.

Well done blog. Funny.

My husband will love the Spiderman Weird Al vid.

andsheflew said...

What a hilarious story. It's good to hear a dad say that about what it feels like to get out of the house. I often wonder what life would be like if the tables were turned in our house. Forget the spa, just let me go to the grocery store by myself!

Amber, That's Me! said...

Hi, I'm here for the party... I'm laughing at this post because I feel the same way about knowing if someone is going to be a bad stylist and you just sit there hoping that person doesn't come out to get you! I thought I was the only one who did this!

Mama Bear said...

That is funny! Maybe she said, "You are really hairy", not "I'm Mary!"

skoots1mom said...

i fall asleep while they're washing my hair...so don't feel too bad. Most hairdressers I know are pretty tough skinned!

Bumpkin Bears said...

That was so funny. Great to meet you through the UBP. Love your Bear's names, Beary best wishes, Catherine and my Bumpkin Bears

Debz said...

Pleased to meet you.
Just popping trew from the UBP '09
Gotta love drive threw hair salons!

shop with me mama said...

Nice to meet you! Just stopping by from the party, have a great week! Feel free to stop by my blog and say hi :)

Angi said...

Tears in my eyes from the laughter! So funny! I run near exhaustion frequently. My kids are older now, but I remember when they were younger, I'd fall asleep when I was reading to them!