When Junior Bear and Peanut Bear were just over 2-years-old, I was in need of finding more and more creative ways to keep them in one spot when changing their diapers or pull-ups. As many of you know, it can be extremely difficult to keep them from getting up and running away, especially when you have to make the transition from the dirty diaper to the clean one. That’s nothing new or unique to my situation.
So what I did was to start playing with their belly-button. I would press on their belly-button and say, “ding-dong.” We’ve all done it; we pretend that the belly-button is a doorbell.
I would say, “Ding-Dong! Ding-Dong!”, and press on the stomach, making them laugh.
It was simple yet brilliant for this simpleton father. I would have to do this like four or five times before starting to change their diaper as they laid on the floor and a couple other times after I took the dirty diaper off. They would have fun during this and, as a result, would stay put as I transferred to the clean diaper.
I was so impressed with myself. I came up with a solution to a problem without turning to Mama Bear. See, I usually turn to Mama Bear as she is a teacher (a very good one might I add) and she often has the answers for me when dealing with the kids. Whether it’s coming up with the punishment that fits the crime to dealing with temper tantrums to sounding out words (for me not the kids), I would be lost without her.
Anyway, again, I was pretty happy that I came up with this solution and a sense of pride came over me. I felt that I was finally learning something after two years on Daytime Daddy duty – until my parents came over one Saturday that is.
My parents came down from North Jersey for the day. I can’t really remember what we did, but I vividly remember what happened shortly after dinner that night.
We had just got up from the table and getting ready for dessert when the twins needed to get their diapers changed. I left that chore up to Gamma Bear, as there’s no need for me and Mama Bear to have all the fun all the time. So, Gamma Bear was having the same problem I was having, she couldn’t keep the kids down and before we knew it, both kids were running around naked.
Needless to say, I was enjoying this. It’s fun to watch Gamma struggle and it soon reached all new heights as it was at this point one of the funniest things that I can ever remember them saying came out.
The twins ran to the steps and Junior Bear shouted to the family, “Daddy touches my ding-dong when he changes my diaper!”
Peanut Bear quickly echoed her brother’s words and I broke into hysterical laughter knowing what they meant. However, not everyone in the room got the joke.
“What?!” yelled Gamma Bear as her jaw hit the floor.
Pop Church (my dad) nearly choked on his coffee and gave me a look I had never seen.
To prove that I shouldn’t get arrested, I asked the kids to point to their “ding-dong.”
They both pointed to their belly-button at the same time and we all shared a good laugh, but it was at that point I had to stop pressing their “ding-dong” when changing their diapers.
I’m glad it came out then and not at the preschool. I probably would have been asking the twins to point to their “ding-dong” from behind bars if that happened.
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About This Blog
I primarily share my past and present experiences in fatherhood that I think you’ll find entertaining. From family to fantasy (sports that is), I plan to touch on it. There probably isn’t going to be any life lesson to learn and I don’t plan to analyze why things happen. I simply plan to allow you to share in the enjoyment (or laugh at the misery) that is my life. –Enjoy!
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Not sure exactly what I'm doing, but the PBM is now on Facebook and Twitter. Friend me at PapaBear Memoirs on Facebook and Tweet me. If you still live in the Stone Age, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and get weekly emails.
I'm a 30-something married father of three living in suburban Philadelphia and have been thinking of starting a blog on the craziness that is fatherhood for a few years now.
See, I was the stereotypical male who played sports through college, worked in the sports field most of my professional career and planned many of my outings around my favorite teams' games. I was the guy who fell asleep during birthing class -- honestly I was.
But back in 2003, exactly two weeks and one day after I became Papa Bear and my wife became Mama Bear (in case you are lost, that's when my wife gave birth to a set of boy-girl twins), I was laid off from work and a wrench was thrown in our lives.
So we abruptly changed our plans and I stayed home with the kids for the next four years, a period which saw us add one more to the family.
Mama Bear is a teacher and since we couldn’t afford to give up her awesome benefits, the first six months or so after the twins, I was a full-time stay-at-home dad. Then, I began working mostly nights in order to save on childcare bills and create an income, but remained the "Daytime Daddy," changing what felt like hundreds of diapers per day and coming up with creative ways to feed two babies simultaneously at 3 am. Of course the summers were different, as Mama Bear was home from school, but it was hectic nonetheless.
It was during this period that I seriously considered a blog to share my mostly insane stories as a clueless first-time father. But for a number of reasons -- lack of sleep probably being No. 1 -- I didn’t go through with the blog.
Now that the kids are older and I have once again rejoined the daily rat race, I have decided to turn my attention to sharing my experiences best I can remember.
Pronunciation [fah-th er-hoo d] 1. the state of being a father. 2. fathers collectively. 3. the qualities or spirit of a father.
The Bear's Den
Papa Bear Mama Bear Brother Bear (aka Junior Bear) Big Sissy Bear (aka Peanut Bear) Little Sissy Bear (aka Cookie Bear)